Thursday, December 31, 2009

Under the bus shelter this morning

While I was waiting for the b54 I coughed and a man offered me a cough drop. It's a store brand cough drop that has been warmed up or it's old because it sticks to the wrapper. I open it and see that it has been broken into two pieces. I take the smaller and wrap up the other.

"Was is stuck? Do you want another?"

"No, thank you. It was broke in half so I am saving the other half for later"



Then we chat about the Dutch hero who saved the passengers on Christmas Day. The bus pulled up and he wished me a Happy New Year.

There, now aren't you so happy I told you this saga?

Wednesday, December 30, 2009


That's when we used to meet each day, afternoon tea.
Punch card slowly fills, purchases begin to exhaust.
It might all be over soon.
The thought makes me sick,
Maybe tea will help.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

I think the sinus infection is going away, I'm not coughing so much, I still feel the pressure. I'm sure the stress in my life doesn't help but I wouldn't want it to be easy.

It's not supposed to be easy.

Depressed Maria. I need to find some time to tea. I need afternoon tea. Thanks for reading.

Monday, December 28, 2009


That aught to help with the infection, on Thursday I get the results from the lab work on the culture samples taken today. I'm not good with sprays and shiat that makes me jittery, so I'll just keep on keeping on with the saline spray.

This little office is on Sutton Pl. and 55th Ave. way over by the water and the Doctor scolded me for not mentioning my ear issues. "You didn't write that you had tubes in your ears on your history"

That was ages ago dude.

Wow, what a boring post, sorry I had to make you suffer it. I wish I could tell you what's really going on. Too risky.

Sunday, December 27, 2009


Doctor! I called Dr. Lebowitz @ NYU today, just wonderin' if he might be working on a Sunday. He wasn't but an operator picked up and said I should just go into the ER. "For a sinus infection?" I asked and she said yes.

Not bloody likely Ms. I'll suffer one more day of this and go tomorrow during my lunch break, I'm afraid the infection is spreading and all the stress of life is making it worse, oh modern medicine help me out.

This Time Tomorrow - The Kinks of course... That ought to be on any decent bar's jukebox.

Saturday, December 26, 2009

It's been bad

epsom salt baths and steam helps. I am optimistic, changes are sometimes hard and difficult. Blast! Summer in Siam.

I can manage, I've always worked well under pressure. I am going to be 28 soon, I recognize that little lines under my eyes mean something real.

My loves and my imagination occupy my time, my sinus can take shot-gun for all I care.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Got to get it together

see what's happening. No but seriously, 2010 is gonna be something else, watch. You. Sinus pressure will be put in check and I might work out a lot more (or sometimes).

Saturday, December 19, 2009


I'm double-jointed in both shoulders and last night my arm fell out of it's socket and this morning it is sore. I have had a persistent cough for the past few weeks and I'd better see a Dr. about that.

Also, last night I had a fabulous french-dip.

Waiting for the snow.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009



"the true place for a just man is also a prison"

And when I waited at
our corner. And you were late
I doubted. I had sinus pressure, I thought
I might be sick.
Maybe a sinus infection is spreading, to my
ears, my head and my lips. The holidays are here.
All I want is for the pressure to leave, for Union Square
to not be a hurdle. I want to laugh and sing. And
mother of pearl! the wind stings.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Rain 100%

All day rain. All day. Helps my sinus pressure, when I am out. But I haven't been out too much. I went into the city, tried to pick up some holiday cheer. Not so much.

Friday, December 11, 2009

Punch Card

(dear reader, I'm sorry for all the bullshit poetry I will get back to the sinus pressure topics soon)

Punch Card

It's over. Another "our" time has ended.
Episode 5 wherein she bleeds and blasts the tea
to the album cover's awards.
Finally there is a new feeling of security
in knowing that whatever
may happen, there will be 10
and the 11th is is free.

Thursday, December 10, 2009


I had very very bad sinus pressure this morning but then it went away.


I lost my gloves on the way to
I need them but it was worth it.
The most glorious feeling and you! you!
holding onto me as I was
And we talk quietly and laugh about
your grandmother's fruit and the cold.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I don't know

...What would you say if you were in love? Shall I scream? No. I'd better watch more film.

Saturday, December 5, 2009


It has been a cold wet day, I think that may be why my sinuses haven't been bothering me so much. This morning at the farmers market, I bought some porcini mushrooms. I want sleep now.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Right Now

I'm not sure what I will want in ten years. I'm going to be 28 soon and I think what I really know for sure right now is that I don't want to leave NYC for a while. Or ever. No pressure in that decision at all.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Bright lights

The bright lights make my sinus pressure worse. And sometimes I confuse the pressure with anxiety. I like to hold cool things on the bridge of my nose, I'd like to have a slab of marble with me at all times for this purpose.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I've been told

I scowl a lot. This may or may not be a result of sinus pressure.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

right eye

My right eye has been twitching for a few weeks. I figure it's the sleep deprivation and stress but what bothers me is the twitching. I want to get into the holidays. I do like the way pine smells. I like the way nutmeg smells too.

Monday, November 30, 2009


What it is about? That is what is pressuring me today. That and pillows and tea.

Sunday, November 29, 2009


It feels good to have your eyebrows nibbled. It feels good to have your temples kissed. Anxiety hurts. Despite the cigarette I had last night (shh), I have no sinus pressure this morning.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


There's nothing more exhausting than a late night fight, amirite?

Autumn is no less on me, that a rose
Hugs the brown bough and sighs before it goes.

-Edna St. Vincent Millay

Friday, November 27, 2009


I am getting older. I am exfoliating more. My sinus pressure hasn't been bothering me too much. I am trying to improve upon my posture, parenting, stress, health and love. Love!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


this isn't about sinus pressure but there is a lady who I spent time with tonight, she is 92, she lives down the street with her two HUGE cats. I was walking down the street tonight and we began to talk, she invited me into her house and I spent an hour with her. She is amazing, she is lonely and she is strong. She misses company and I appreciate my youth and my family and my friends so much. I looked at pictures of her and her sisters, her late husband, her art...I think she is so special and I hope we can become friends. Sometimes, I spend so much time thinking about the future, what I will do with my living room, what I will do with company, what I will do with my education. The most precious things of all, I swear, are the fucking small things, those moments with the ones we love.

Monday, July 6, 2009


all the while I have been upset with the rain in June, it might have been helping keep my sinuses moist. I know a few people who hate the word "moist" it doesn't bother me too much.

Thursday, July 2, 2009


I get sinus related headaches so often that when I have a bona fide headache I think it's an aneurysm. I can feel the veins on the outside of my skull and I usually massage my head until the blood stops flowing to my head. If I were bald I'd have a vein-y head. I've abstained from "adult drinks" this past week and I have been drinking a lot of water. I need to find time to get my heart rate going. Do you ever call in or enter sweepstakes? I do.

Monday, June 8, 2009


my nose is slightly crooked. when I was born my mom said it was really bad, apparently I was face down in the womb? It straightened up and now it's hardly noticeable but it's definitely crooked. I have a deviated septum which, (according to this specialist Dr. I saw a few months ago) might contribute to my sinus issues. My nails are stupid, they grow really square and chip a lot, when i paint them I chip them the next day. I would feel guilty going to a salon all the time to get my nails manicured. I think when I get older I'm just gonna say "fu*k it" and just do what I want without feeling guilty.

Saturday, June 6, 2009


I woke up with serious sinus pressure this morning. I put an ice cube on the bridge of my nose, sneezed a few times and then started to feel better. The sun is out today and I would lay out but the ground is still wet. I'll just pull two chairs together I suppose. I've been thinking about the little wrinkles under my eyes lately. And I read The Sun Also Rises again, I think I have been reading that novel 5-6 times per year for the past 5 years.

Thursday, May 7, 2009


getting a good night(s?) sleep means a lot and my sinus cavity likes it. the young boy doesn't wake up in the middle of the night (after nearly two years of doing so) and I think that helps. sometimes I get up before Beau and I grab the stinker and he lays in bed with us. he points out the sounds of what vehicles might be going by "mo rocco" (motorcycle) or "big big fruck" (that's a big big truck).